This is my new life
Honestly, I keep waiting for the day when life slows back down. I’m coming to a point where perhaps I have to realize that this is my new life. One full of activities, long days, short nights and only a small fraction of time that not only is purely recreational, or even just idle, But a fraction of that fraction is expendable in the manner that I choose.
This year in particular, the number of things we are going and “doing” seem to have taken over. It feels like a real life game of Tetris. You know how when you start, it’s easy to fit all the pieces just perfectly? But as time goes on, things start to pile up and you’re forced to make compromises, not only are you fitting pieces in spots that aren’t exactly perfect, but the more compromises you make, the more difficult it becomes to find a place for the next piece and you continually lose room to maneuver. Remember how the music increases in intensity as your screen fills towards the top? I feel like my tempo has just kicked up a notch. When that happens, things get frantic, you make mistakes and sometimes the whole game comes crashing down. But sometimes… you hit that threshold, keep your cool and battle back to a game that is completely manageable. I’m really trying to play it cool.
I don’t want this post to be a big complaint. I’m just exploring whether I need to pare away the volume of activities, or find a way to cope with the new level of stuff we’re doing. Or if this is just a temporary rush that will end soon. This isn’t to say I regret the time I’ve spent. For instance, Mom’s wedding was this past weekend. I certianly never looked at it as a hassle or a bother. It was a great weekend and something we’ll talk about forever. Especially the part where the Pastor stole my scripture reading haha! Every weekend we’ve spent away has been worth it. I guess it’s what it does to the middle of the week that is tiring.
The natural thing for people to say is “get used to it”. I think that’s crap. I like to think I have a little more control over my existence than to let the wind blow me from one calendar page to the next. So if I go into hiding it’s nothing personal. I’m just trying to preserve some of my own sanity, which requires an occasional diet of solitude and the comfort of my own chair.