Category Archives: Weird
One of my favorite questions to ask somebody is, “If you could have a sandwich and a conversation with anyone on earth… but you couldn’t tell anyone else about it, who would you pick?” I like that question because I think it gets right to the heart about what it means to have a meaningful moment with someone you admire. Is that moment about them, or you? Are you excited to learn more about that person, or are you excited about how much more interesting you’ll seem to everyone else?
I got the opportunity to interview Melissa Joan Hart last week. The timing was so odd. Not long ago here I confessed my secret that I’d been binge watching Clarissa Explains it All on Hulu. I had just wrapped up watching the last episode on Tuesday, Thursday an e-mail shows up at work in my Inbox. “Interview Melissa Joan Hart”. Well that’s… weird. There’s a lot of long odds from the beginning to the end of this scenario. Whoever is doing publicity for Melissa Joan Hart has stumbled onto some sort of fifth dimensional wavelength that apparently I was tuned into.
I was pretty excited at the opportunity. Surely nothing would come of it. But what if it did? What would I ask her? What would she be like? How weird would it be to hear her voice and know that she’s talking to me? All of a sudden that sandwich question was the furthest thing from my mind.
It was a busy day that day. I had a live broadcast to do and plenty of work around the station. The interview opportunity was for the next morning and with every refresh of my e-mail inbox, and every hour that passed by, the chances of getting to talk to her at all were fading away.
Then as I was pulling back into the radio station that afternoon my phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. It was from California, and usually I just let numbers like that go to voice mail… but this was the kind of day I answered calls from the farthest possible strangers. 2 minutes later, I had 10 minutes reserved for the interview. Weird how you go from metered disappointment, to throttled jubilation.
As the reality started to set in about what was happening, the REAL REALITY really started to set in about what was happening. First thing I wanted to do was I wanted to be respectful. Why is this happening in the first place? An alarm didn’t go off on MJH Headquarters saying, “Matt just finished watching Clarissa!”… she’s promoting her new movie. Gotta talk about that. Gotta make sure I AM ABLE talk about that. Then you start to put yourself in their shoes. I’m the first of probably at least 10 radio interviews she has to knock out in 2 hours where everyone is going to ask her the same questions. And having been known for her TV shows dating back 20 years, probably asked the same questions she’s been asked for the last 20 years. Suddenly this sounds like one of the most dreadful things I can possibly imagine. Now I was less excited about how cool it was going to be to talk to Melissa Joan Hart, but more thinking about how I can get through my interview without making her want to blow her brains out. I decided I wasn’t even going to bring up Clarissa or Sabrina unless she did. Spoiler alert: she didn’t.
I researched her movie and wrote down enough questions to fill 10 minutes on my own… just in case. Right on time, the phone rang. After the briefest of pleasantries with the interview coordinator, I said “Hi”. She said “Hi”. And it was time to roll.
“What was it like?” everyone later asks. This is the part where I’m supposed to be cool because Melissa Joan Hart talked to ME. Here’s the truth. I had fun. It WAS cool. But I am completely cognizant to the fact that she was just doing a job. I would have loved to have gone deep on Clarissa questions and things that would satisfy my thirst for more information. I guess at the end of the day to ask all the questions I really wanted to ask seemed selfish and rude.
So the sandwich question turns out to be an interesting thought experiment, but a real life impracticability. We want to meet celebrities because we feel like we have a relationship from the stories they help tell, or what they share through social media. But turn it around, and how many sandwiches do you want to have with complete strangers who know more about you than you know about them? Most of us won’t even say “Hi, how ya doin’?” to a stranger.
I suppose we should worry less about how interesting our lives are and appreciate more the people who just genuinely enjoy our company for being normal boring old us.
Usually any dreams I have fade away quickly after I wake up. But this one has really stuck with me for whatever reason.
Andrea and I are staying in a hotel. It’s a pretty nice place, but not like the Waldorf. Maybe a Hilton. Thing is like two floors directly above us, Kelly Clarkson is staying in the same hotel. And EVERYBODY knows it because there is a ton of people up there hoping to catch a glimpse. So we figure, what the hell, we’ll go check it out since everyone else is.
Kelly’s crew apparently anticipated all this, because there were displays and a sort of mini-exhibit all about her. And all the people were milling around checking it all out. The displays were all laid out kind of in chronological order of her career. Most people were down at the end gawking at all the new stuff and reading little plaques about how she came up with her songs that everyone hears on the radio and TV. A few people were in the middle. But Andrea and I were the only people at the other end where her early stuff was. I remember saying to Andrea, “Her new stuff is good, but I just really like her original songs the best.”
Lo and behold, Kelly Clarkson was standing in earshot when I said that and walked over and said something to the effect that she was surprised to hear someone say that and it was refreshing to hear somebody who didn’t just want the new and latest. Clarkson said, “I worked just as hard on those projects as I do with my current ones, so it’s frustrating when people just forget about them.” Of course I totally agreed with her.
I’m a bit blurry on how it happened after that, but at least for the time being, we were now in Kelly’s “circle” and we were headed somewhere to do something, probably awesome. At the very least we were going to get to ride in her limo! So we get on the elevator to head down to the lobby and leave for wherever we are going. But as we were getting on the elevator, an elderly woman was trying to get on but the doors began to close before she could step on the elevator. Being the kind soul I’m sure Kelly Clarkson is, she reached to hold the door open for the old woman.
The elevator was one of those fancy glass elevators that rides along the outside of a building so you can get an awe inspiring view of the skyline, which I remember as being generic enough not to be familiar to me. It wasn’t crowded, but you could tell that with our next occupant, we’d be inclined to tell anyone who came next to wait for the next one, rather than pack us all in.
I want to say the old woman had a walker. At any rate, she was moving at a glacial pace. Kelly Clarkson continued to hold open the door, but the longer she held it, the more determined the door was to close. She tried to push the door open, partly in frustration and partly to protect the old woman from getting trapped by the ever persistent doors. Right then the elevator door slid back through it’s hiding place and exposed the ground below. She slipped and disappeared.
Everyone instantly screamed, and it seemed like we all took an instinctive step back not knowing for a brief instant if the whole elevator was going to fall. Half a beat later when I realized the floor beneath my feet was still solid, I dove for the opening.
Kelly had grabbed a hold of some of the machinery under the elevator, and held on tightly with her feet dangling in empty space. All I could see was rows of hotel room windows growing ever smaller until they eventually met a parking lot some 20 stories below.
As she hung there she wasn’t looking up at me. I hollered to her, “Kelly, I’m here! Grab my hand!” Still without looking up she reached out a hand. At first I couldn’t reach her at all. I slid a bit further over the edge, not wanting to plunge us both to our death when her weight was added to mine. I grasped her hand, but it was all oily from the machine work she clung too and slipped. “Hold on!” I shouted.
I made the biggest lunge I could and we clasped each other’s wrists. I then was able to get my other hand around her forearm and pulled her up. I remember thinking she was lighter than I thought she would be. Good for both of us I guess.
As I pulled her up she was able to get her footing on a large gear underneath where the door used to be. But it was one of those gears that looked like if it engaged it would just pulverize anything that met its teeth. I could tell by the look on her face she had the same thought I did so with one last tug, she was back in the elevator.
She looked about how you would expect anyone to look after she almost plummeted from an elevator. She was visibly frazzled, oil covered and wind blown. We all exited the elevator to the 20th-ish floor lobby where I guided her to a chair to collect herself.
Now at this point I woke up. I can only assume that Andrea and I were later invited to do all sorts of cool celebrity stuff and become Kelly Clarkson’s new besties.
Something ever just catch you by complete suprise? I head to the bathroom to get around for the day and find my drain in the sink clogged.
It’s fun reading about how people are finding the blog. About half of all the traffic I get here (which isn’t much) just comes from the blog popping up in search engine results. Here’s the top 10 search terms used to find BGWillers.com in the last seven days. Apparently I’ve talked about all of this at some point.
1. super mario 64
2. deal or no deal staged
3. montgomery burns
4. new monopoly
5. toronado caliente
6. hp bloatware
7. el monterey burritos
8. super mario virtual console
9. 5 inch bowser mario toy
10. 4 willers for the snow
The last is my personal favorite, though I have no idea what it means!
This story reports that researchers have found a pill that has the same effects of exercising…without having to do any pesky exercise!
Apparently after just taking a little dose, mice were able to run 44 percent longer on a treadmill than before taking the pill. Never having to work out one bit. And there’s some other pill that with a little exercise, they did 75% better.
Shoot! This might just be the thing I need to hold me over until they get those bionic implants all figured out!
I ordered a new set of GM keys for my car earlier this week since I lost one of my door keys. (Which I’ve since found. =P )
And last night I stopped by the post office and they put one of those little yellow slips in our PO box letting you know you got a package. Oh giddy day for me! But the office is closed, so I come back this morning. I tell the postal worker my box number and he retreats back behind some shelves full of packages and shuffles them around a bit. Soon he emerges with a box almost big enough for a small child’s head. (Sorry it’s the only reference I could think of.)
So right off the bat I’m suspicious. There’s no need for a package that big for four car keys. But maybe they just have a good deal on boxes like that, hell I dunno. All I know is I nor Andrea have ordered anything else. Once home I tear into the box to lay my eyes on these extremely well packaged keys. But I open the box and there’s a letter from Westar Energy on the top. HUH? I skim the paper and it says, “As a special thanks for enrolling in paperless billing, here’s a free compact fluorescent bulb. It’ll save you money in the long run.” Apparently part of their Go Green campaign. After digging throught he rest of the packaging. Sure enough it’s a light bulb.
Go figure. I’ve been getting my bills online for a good year and a half now. But its nice of them to still think of me I guess. Just an odd thing to show up in the mail…out of the blue…a lightbulb. Weird.
Man, I thought I won some sort of million dollar contest when I pulled this can out of the case. Bright orange High Life! (At least its not orange flavored!) Turns out they’re just changing the cans for the hunting season. I somehow bought the case, got all the way home, stuck it in the fridge, opened and pulled out the can without noticing the giant orange can, or all the turkeys plastered all over the case.
In related news, in a clear container, High Life glows green under a black light. Great for parties! 😉
Posted by: Justin
Last night Wendy got up (about 1 am) to go to the bathroom. As she was walking down the stairs she slipped and sprain her ankle (we have alot of that going around 😛 ) But anyway she was in a lot of pain, etc.
About an hour later, A friend called me (about 230) and asked if she was ok, because he had a really bad feeling something happened to her, which woke him up from his slumber.